Whether you agree with that definition of masculinity or not, boys are not men. (See How It Can Be Different for Men and How Being Male Can Make It Hard to Heal.) Successful men are depicted as never being vulnerable, either physically or emotionally. This myth implies that a boy or man who has been sexually used or abused will never be a “real man.” Our society expects males to be able to protect themselves. It’s central to masculine gender socialization, and boys pick up on it very early in life. The myth that boys can’t be sexually used or abused, and if one is, he can never be a “real man.”Įveryone absorbs the myth that males aren’t victims, to some extent. Most boys and men who are sexually abused or assaulted will not go on to sexually abuse or assault others.ġ.The boys and men are not “lucky,” but exploited and harmed. Girls and women can sexually abuse or assault boys and men.By focusing on the abusive nature of sexual abuse rather than the sexual aspects of the interaction, it becomes easier to understand that sexual abuse has nothing to do with a boy’s sexual orientation. Whether he is gay, straight or bisexual, a boy’s sexual orientation is neither the cause nor the result of sexual abuse.
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Sexual abuse is the result of abusive behavior that takes advantage of a child’s vulnerability and is in no way related to the sexual orientation of the abusive person. Boys can be sexually abused by both straight and gay men and women.Sexual abuse and assault harms boys/men and girls/women in ways that are similar and different, but equally harmful.If a boy liked the attention he was getting, or got sexually aroused during the abuse, or even sometimes wanted the attention or sexual contact, this does not mean he wanted or liked being manipulated or abused, or that any part of what happened, in any way, was his responsibility or fault.Boys and men can be sexually used or abused, and it has nothing to do with how masculine they are.